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A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR THOSE OTHER FOOLISH
ROMANTICS OUT THERE, WITH MORE KOPEKS THAN BRAINS, LIKE ME
Living in the UK, I am finding a sense of entitlement amongst the women folk that makes it a challenge for an unconventional chap like me to meet all the required criteria. Especially when dealing with the relatively small pool of eligible, single Jewish women in London – salary of at least £100k a year, willingness to sire a new brood of kids, endless sexual potency, preferably be younger than her, have a vast network of friends and relatives so that she can feel free and not imposed upon, huge pension and savings, etc etc. You get the picture. A man by numbers…
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However, in her profile, several things appeared that made me say “Ah, what the
hell?!”
First, the statement:
“I am looking for a:
I would like to meet a very decent man, who is not burdened with any superstitions. He
doesn't have to be pretty, but he has to have some charm that has nothing to do with the
appearance. I don't know, I should feel it, that's all”
Well, I may not be outright ugly, but I’m no Brad Pitt, so this was a plus!
Second, the statement:
“My past relationships:
From the past relationship I have learnt that we step on the same rakes, because we choose
the same people. If you want a change, try it!”
Mmmm, interesting concept, not stepping on the same rakes and getting hit in the face over
and over again. Maybe I should just take a chance…
Third, the statement:
Age Range:
35 to 56
Well, she listed her age as 26, so this was a big change from the
north London, Jewish profiles, with 40 year old women wanting 20 year old me.
So, I wrote.
And, lo and behold, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, she wrote back! Not only
did she write back, but there were more incredible pictures, lovely kind words, and
apparently a sweet, warm, loving woman behind this exquisite exterior. My photographs did
not make her run. There was no demand for money, or visas or plane trips. Just several
weeks to months into the communication, I asked when her birthday is and she mentioned
that it has already passed and that the expense of internet communication was a bit of a
burden. So, Western Union, here I come, with a quick birthday present, which was
immediately collected with gratitude, by Tatiana Bocharnik (or was it?).
At the same time, I suggested that I come visit and this was met with a welcoming
response, indicating which airports to fly to. Kiev to Simferopol, where she could meet
me, and go from there to Shtromovoe town, which I could not even find on a map. And so, I
was off to meet my queen, the Aerobics instructor of the Crimea, based in Shtormovoe town!
Through the incredible assistance of Unipress, Ukrainian Travel
Experts, (www.ukraine-tours.com),
my travels from Kiev to Simferopol was organized, and I was met at the Simferopol airport
by Eugene Snezhkin (www.aroundcrimea.com).
I had wanted to rent a car and immediately proceed to Shtromovoe town (about 95 km from
Simferopol) to find my love – who to this date had not yet provided an actual physical
address. In fact, once I confirmed I was coming for the visit in December, I was advised
that perhaps I should delay my trip until February next year. Mmmm – like a fool, or as
a fool, I went anyway. Anyway, Eugene met me at the airport, and inveighed upon me to
consider heading off to Shtromovoe town the next day, rather than that night. I agreed.
That was Thursday night.
Friday afternoon, off to Shtormovoe town went Eugene and I. With
roads poorly marked, poorly maintained, and where markings did exist, only in Russian. I
was pleased to have decided against renting a vehicle on my own, after all. Several hours
later, we approached the end of the earth, with little or no lighting and only guesswork
to get us to the right turn-off, in a place otherwise known as Shtormovoe town. I had not
wanted to hunt down Tatiana, but on arrival in this dark bleak little place, Eugene and I
went to the only sign of life in the town – the grocery store. There a scene unfolded of
such bizarre and sublime proportions that I will forever kick myself for not having it
recorded on film. I hauled out my laptop and, armed with this picture of perfect beauty,
Eugene and I consulted the oracles behind the fish counter. Again, without Eugene, I would
have been lost. As it was, in Russian, he was able to kindly explain that this idiot
standing next to him had been communicating with this beauty, and had they seen her or did
they know anything about her. With one look, the women broke into wide smiles and without
understanding a word of their kind derision, knew that they had never seen such a vision
anywhere near Shtormovoe, and had they seen her, they would have remembered, and had she
ever been there, she would not have been there for more than the time to pass through, or
perhaps collect a Western Union transmittal.
Heartbroken, and chagrined, I bought the best bottle of brandy that could be had
within a 100 mile radius, and promptly headed off to oblivion. Off course, I had had my
doubts that this would be real, but knowing and suspecting are very different things.
Eugene kindly got me safely back to Simferopol that night. With the assistance of Eugene,
putting this loss of love and future behind me, I then had a couple of incredible days
meeting Eugene’s friends and acquaintances, and learning from Eugene much about his
beloved Crimea. From Simferopol to a Tartar dinner, on to Balaklava and thence to Yalta,
only to return on Sunday evening to Simferopol. In some ways, I suppose, I am grateful for
the scam, as I got to see a part of the world and to meet people I might not otherwise
have experienced.
My last communication with Tanya follows:
“Tanya
If it is really you that is writing to me, I am very sad to say that I
have visited Shtromovo town and, of course, there is no sign of you there. I am assuming
this is the last I will ever hear from you, and this is a pity, as I was really taken in
by the possibility of making a life with you. Obviously, this was my own stupidity!!
I have found this information on the internet:
http://www.uaprofiler.com/profiles/profile.php?id=1618
http://www.anti-scam.org/scammer/276.html
If you are alone in this, then please do something better with your
life than prey on the stupid desires and fantasies of men who might really wish to
establish a good life with you.
If this is part of a larger scam, simply using the images of this
beautiful woman to extract money from stupid foreigners, shame on you! Do something honest
with your lives and leave this lovely woman alone. But, unfortunately, I suspect it is all
part of a collaboration and I condemn you all for your preying on the fondest desires of
some kind people who still do exist in the world.
In the end, I had an amazing visit in Crimea thanks to your scam, Tanya, or whomever
you are out there doing this despicable scam.”
So, romantics and fools beware – the biggest tools the scammer
has to use against you is your fondest desire to believe that what is too good to be true
just might be available to you.
John C. Smith
(Not my real name, as, obviously, I am chagrined to admit what a fool I have been).